Home, Home

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Ever since we booked our tickets home people have said 'you must be so excited to get home', 'oh wow are you excited', 'it's been so long you must be excited'. And yes of course I'm excited. I'm excited to see my family, my friends, mainly by dog though. I'm excited to have a real winter where I can wear big jumpers and boots and feel cosy by a fire in a pub instead of sweating like a turkey on Christmas Eve. I'm excited to see my favourite places that I haven't seen in so long and I'm excited to see all the things that have happened and changed since I left.

But also I'm scared and I'm anxious and it's a bit bittersweet. 

I've lived in Australia for two years now, and yes I have lived here. We've had our own life, finding work, making friends and doing real adult things like paying bills and filing tax returns and buying our own weekly shop. I've lived in Australia for two years and it's a little like home. 

I've made attachments to people and places. We've seen more of this country than we have our own. It's hard to do all these things and have all these experiences and make all these attachments and not form roots and feel like you're leaving a place like home at the end of it all.

I've missed home and I've missed friends, family and places. And when it comes down to it I'm about to do the same again. I'll miss the family I met again, I'll miss the friends we've made and I'll miss the places we've seen and experienced. I'll even miss the dogs. Ok I'll miss the dogs heaps.

But seriously, travelling is like that. You form roots all over the world and leave parts of you all over the world so where is home?

Of course, home is home. Home, home. Everyone has home, home. For the past two years home has been Australia and home, home is home. The little house in the south coast of England with my family and my dog and all my stuff and the little town with all my friends and memories. So will that always be home, home? Probably. 

But home? Home is wherever you make it. Home is where you can make attachments and roots and feel loved and love. 

The thing is I've always known I'm going home, home to see everyone and be there again, so I've missed it in a 'I miss home but it's okay I'm going home' way. And of course some days you miss it more than others. 

But it's different with Australia. I'm leaving here never knowing when I'll be back, though I know I will be back. And that's the hard part. 

I'm leaving home and I don't know when I'll be back.

Until next time,